Halloween Below Ground
by Wing Pikepaw
Summary: A few days before October 31st, an order is sent through to the LEP: all officers must wear costumes on Halloween, or face criminal charges. Time's running short, a certain commander is furious, and no one has a costume yet...
1. Chapter 1

Commander Root's face was a shade of deep, furious purple. When he stormed into the conference room, the officers present all drew back a bit from the heat of his fiery temper, shrinking down in their seats to make themselves inconspicuous in case Root's mood was their fault. However, he barely glanced at them as he crossed the room to the large marble table and slammed an official-looking paper onto its center. Cracks flickered out from under the spotless white page to form a complex spider web pattern on the smooth stone.

Apparently still too enraged to speak, the commander swept to his seat at the head of the table and lit a cigar, quickly filling the room with noxious smoke: a sign of extreme stress. Tentatively, Foaly, head of LEP Operations, slid the paper towards him and picked it up, but didn't scan it, instead looking towards Root.

"Problems, commander?" the centaur asked, wisely not invoking his usual sarcastic tone.

"Just read it," Root snarled from within his cloud of smoke. It was all he could manage at the moment.

Clearing his throat, Foaly obediently began to read aloud, a hush settling respectfully among those present as his words echoed in the small chamber.

"_Dear Staff of the LEPrecon,_

_Greetings. We hope that you are all in good health, and present our sincere compliments. In a show of support for you, our esteemed police force, we, Haven's city Council, have decided to instate an event that we believe will strengthen the bond between each of you and civilians, as well as provide an educational link for our youth to the human race who dwell above us._

"_We would like to congratulate you on being chosen to be a part of this brainchild of several members of our Council, and thank you for your patience and cooperation. If successful, we hope to continue this proposed event next year as well, and we know you will all go about it willingly and perform admirably, as usual."_

There were some ill-disguised guffaws at this last remark. The LEP was not exactly high on the Council's priority list at the moment, not after the whole B'wa Kell rebellion which they failed to prevent.

"_Our request is a simple one. As you may know, the human holiday of Halloween, an ancient religious tradition that has now become a source of enjoyment for both the People and humans, is approaching. This year, we would like our police officers to join the younger members of Haven's population in celebrating this event by dressing in costumes that will be issued tomorrow for your rounds for the next few days, until November 1st. We hope to create an entertaining experience for each citizen of Haven, and this provides the perfect opportunity."_

Aware that everyone present was staring at him with dawning horror, Foaly continued grimly.

"_Please be aware that this is a requirement, not an optional event. Any officer found not wearing their costumes on the designated days will be considered breaking a city requirement and will be detained accordingly. _

"_Thank you once again for your cooperation. We wish you a pleasant day."_

Dead silence hung over the conference room. Each officer was staring at Foaly as if he had just announced that they all were being required to be infected with smallpox. The quiet was broken only by Root viciously stubbing out his cigar and growling, "The Council has gone insane. Happy Halloween."

_

* * *

A/N: And so...they're doomed! What will our brave heroes do next-walk around in a fluffy pink bunny costume? ((sniggers at thought of Root in such an outfit))_

_Root: Don't even think about it. _

_Me: Oh, I don't know, I think it would look rather nice on you._

_Root: ((moans)) I don't even get _candy_, for the gods' sake!_

_Sorry for the short chapter, all others will be considerably longer. Please do review, even if you dislike it. I'd like feedback._


	2. Chapter 2

Trouble Kelp scowled at the sight of the vehicle in his lane. It was a van, actually. And it was in his reserved lane. _His _lane. Captain Kelp ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair as he shunted the big transport aside with the specialized magnets welded to the sides of his cruiser, parked, and got out slowly, yawning. He glanced over irritably at the van-and stopped in mid-yawn, riveted on the logo stamped on the side of the door.

It was innocent enough, with a simple party hat and the name of the company, but Trouble knew what it was and instantly felt a pang of fear. Stellar Party Costumes Inc. The costume fittings were today. D'Arvit.

For a moment, the captain considered just climbing back into his car, driving back to his apartment, and calling in sick, but his pride made him enter the building. _You're just getting a _costume_, for heavens sake!_ he chided himself. _It's not like you're being asked to dive into the planet's core or anything like that._

But, in Trouble Kelp's mind, it was nearly the equivalent. Seeing the revolting pink rabbit costume the desk sergeant (who had his back turned to the officers reporting to work) was wearing as he passed into his office, he would have almost preferred the latter. Almost. But not quite.

As he passed Root's office, the door opened and Captain Holly Short poked her head out. "Oh, hello Trouble," she said as she stepped out, rubbing her eyes wearily. "He wants to see you."

"About..." Kelp couldn't bring himself to say it.

The female elf nodded grimly. "Officer fittings are at noon. See you there."

Trouble automatically checked his watch. 7:16. Okay. He had some time before all hell broke loose. Waving a morose good-bye to Holly, who was obviously late by the way she rushed off, Captain Kelp stepped inside the commander's office. Root looked up from a stack of reports and gestured to the seat recently vacated by Holly in front of his desk, setting the topmost paper back and shifting the documents to one side so he could make eye contact with his guest.

"Right, Kelp," the commander said briskly, sitting back in his chair. "Holly told you what time we go to get absolutely humiliated?"

"Yes, sir," Trouble replied miserably.

Root sighed. "I can't believe the damn Council is making us go through with this," he growled venomously. "What did we do wrong?"

It was a rhetorical question, so Trouble ventured to ask the question that had popped into his mind as soon as he had entered the building. "Um, sir...we get to pick our costumes, right?"

"No," Julius spat, his coloring darkening a shade. "That's the worst bit: we have them assigned to us. Didn't you see the one Sergeant Griggs has on?"

Oh. The desk sergeant. Trouble groaned, his worst fears confirmed. Generally, you didn't complain in front of a superior officer, but there were certain exceptions when your superior officer was complaining too. Actually, knowing Root, there'd be a lot more than complaining to his officers going on. Short of storming the Council building, the Recon commander knew how to do a lot of damage when he wanted something changed. But nothing had happened yet, which signified that the Council _really_ wanted this done. _Well, we're doomed,_ concluded Trouble as he spoke again.

"Well, sir, I'm sorry about all of this-"

Root cut him off with a wave of his hand. "It's not your fault. If we have to do this, we'll do it to the best of our ability, as we've always done," the commander said sternly. "Now, in the meantime, I want to concentrate on _real_ police work. What do you think of the goblin activity near E17?"

As the two talked, Trouble couldn't get one image out of his mind, an image that wouldn't go away no matter what he tried. It wormed its way into his thoughts, breaking his concentration as that one picture conjured up by his runaway imagination bombarded his brain.

Himself-as a teddy bear.

It was too repulsive to even think about. With a great effort, Trouble shoved the thought deep into the back of his mind and focused on his work. Like Commander Root said, there was real police work to do, and the thought of a little event the Council had cooked up was not going to put him off it. In fact, as he fervently told himself, he was beginning to forget all about it.

Wishful thinking. He was terrified.

* * *

It was 11:57, and Trouble Kelp was now on his way to one of the minor conference rooms where Stellar Party Costumes Inc. had set up shop. Gathering his courage, he opened the small, innocent-seeming door so like the others around it and stepped inside. 

Instantly, his eyes were assaulted by bright, vivid shades of neon yellow and hot pink. The room had been decked out with streamers and screens of these painful colors, and crammed from end to end with tall racks of various costumes, the first of which he couldn't even see over. The only comfort he had was the sight of the other officers huddled in one corner on a long bench-the only modest piece of furniture in the room-but even then he could see the interior of the room glinting off their badges and name tags. Trouble blinked several times and made his way over to the area, wedging himself between two vice captains he didn't know. They all sat in silence for a while until a female sprite dressed in a fluorescent purple jumpsuit squeezed out from behind one rack, conjured a clipboard as if from thin air, and stepped up in front of them.

"Hi there!" she said brightly, beaming a view of perfect teeth at the officers, who were regarding her warily. "Well, today is a very exciting day, now isn't it?"

A noncommittal murmur rose from the gathered members of the LEP.

"Here's how this will work," the sprite said, twirling a lock of jet black hair airily on one finger as she regarded her clipboard. "We'll call you up in by order of your little ranks to try on a few costumes we have in back, and then you can go on out!"

Again, she blasted her corrected smile at them, seemingly unaware of the scowls focused her way. Trouble raised an eyebrow at Holly, who was sitting a few places away from him. _Little ranks?_ she mouthed. Her colleague averted his gaze, biting his lip to stop the flow of quite unprofessional laughter that was rising in his throat.

The commander, naturally, was the first to go, as the highest-ranking officer there. His face a thundercloud, Root reluctantly followed the sprite into the forest of costume racks and vanished from sight. The two vice captains on Trouble's either side glanced at each other, and one passed the other a few coins over the captain's lap to his fellow. At Kelp's inquiring gaze, the offender explained in undertone, "It's a bet, you see, on how long the commander stays in there. Don't mention it, will you?"

Grunting disapprovingly, Trouble let it slide. He was rather eager to see the company get their due as well.

Five minutes passed before any sign of Root's wrath made itself apparent. A bellow strangely reminiscent of that of an angry buffalo rose from somewhere within the room, and each officer present shot upright, listening intently.

"NOW SEE HERE, YOU IMBECILE-!"

Other voices, quieter and more hurried than the commander's, rose to a near audible level in an attempt to calm him. By the sounds of further proceedings, it wasn't working all that well.

"I'M NOT WEARING THAT DAMN THING, SO GET IT OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I HAVE YOU ARRESTED, CIVILIAN!"

A wave parted the sea of costumes as Root stormed out, his face a brilliant crimson. Yanking open the door, he exited and slammed it shut. A moment later, several terrified looking pixies with the Stellar Party Costumes Inc. logo stamped on the front of their uniforms emerged after him, trembling. The first to appear said to the room at large, "So, if someone could tell Commander Root to come when the time is more convenient for him...?"

Trouble smiled. He couldn't help it. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.

_

* * *

A/N: Or so Trouble thinks...he hasn't seen nothing yet._

Thank you, reviewers! You all rose to the occasion magnificently by turning out in full, and I must extend my deepest gratitude to you all! Each review made my day a little brighter, and my day a little lighter...Many, many thanks, once again, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Another is well on its way, as I hope to complete this before Halloween.

_For all those who want Root as a bunny-As I've said answering many reviews, I'm cooking up something really good for our dear commander, don't worry. As you can see, I already gave the costume away, suggestions welcome..._

_**cybergurl: **Thank you, my first reviewer, though I'm afraid that you won't find out Root's costume until later, when he's simmered down a bit. Be patient, and you'll be rewarded, fear not..._

_**wackywildcrazy: **Hmm, yes, most people are anxious to see Root indeed...I must warn you that I'm at a bit of a dilemma concerning his costume. I have to think of something _really_ good for my favorite elf. Oh, he's going to kill me..._

_**El Diablo Ella Misma:** Wow, I'm touched! I'm so glad you like my story, and I thank you for your extremely kind and thoughtful review. I just hope Chapter Two lived up to the standards you set from Chapter One, and exceeded them. _

_**almostinsane: **Thank you! I appreciate it! (You used two sentences, I use two sentences, lol...))_

_**Scottish Ninja:** Awesome pen name by the way, I love it. Thanks for the review and the time, and I must compliment you indeed for reading this frivolity. I myself dislike short little stories like this, but I tried to make this one more unique because I thought I had a pretty good idea. If you enjoyed my writing but would like a more serious story, please take a look at my other writings! Once again, thank you indeed for an inspiring review._

_**scifi chick: **Glad you thought Chapter 1 was funny-hope you'll like Chapter 2 even more!_

_**Jakarutia: **Oh, I didn't say specifically that Root was going to be a pink bunny...oh no, it's going to be worse than that...Thanks once again, m'dear, for reading my stories, and fear not: Desperate Campaign will be updated soon enough._

_**athleticsrulz:** Foaly's coming up in the next chapter, hang on to your hats! Haha, I always take reviewers suggestions to heart, you'll get what you want to hear-usually. In this case, yes._

_**xMetallicBooger: **Och, you all seem to want Root as a bunny! I gave the wrong costume away! I promise you now that it'll be good, but I'm saying no more...thanks for your time!_

_**Tie Kerl: **Ah, the last line...yes, I must agree with you, brilliance indeed. Kidding, I'm not that conceited...but I must say I got all teary when I read your review. Such a compliment, and an intelligent suggestion! You're my new best friend! Heheh...kidding there as well, though I must thank you for the suggestion. Any chance I could "borrow" that idea?_

_**The Outer Limits: **I, too, was quite surprised when Chapter One came to a close-I had expected this to be the stereotypical "What If?" story as well, the ones that usually are not written too well. I'm so glad you all seem to think I did a good job with Chapter One, and I hope Chapter Two didn't ruin it for you all.  Thanks!_

_**Malonia Martins: **Root! Yes! Updated! Sorry for the wait!_

_**Trouble Kelp:** Hello again "Trubs", hope you don't mind me taking a leaf out of Grub's book. Thanks for reviewing once again! (Gee, someone who actually puts up with me-I should get your autograph!) _

_Well, with that being done, I'd once again like to thank the massive amount of reviewers (I think you guys all broke my record, so ye did) and sincerely hope Chapter Two was as good as you say the first one was. So sorry for the wait in between chapters, rest assured that Chapter 3 will be coming sooner than this one did. As I told athleticsrulz, Foaly will be starring in our next chapter-please do stay tuned._


	3. Chapter 3

Foaly's eyes narrowed as the Ops booth began to blast human rock music. Another one of his techies' amusing satellite tampering expeditions, no doubt. The centaur clopped into the booth, holding his ears as all speakers screamed,

"_You gotta fight! For your right! To _parrrrrrrrty_!"_

Foaly trotted over to the keyboard and instantly began to type an override command into the main database, which the computer promptly ignored. Frowning, the tech centaur adjusted his tinfoil hat and attempted to turn off the speakers, but all he achieved was turning on the outer speakers that ran through the LEP building, and the music began shooting out through the halls.

The reactions of most of those in Foaly's view through the thick glass that surrounded Ops was to either start laughing or singing along. As soon as Foaly was done cleaning up the bug, however, and deleting the file that had been placed in the system and set to go off, Julius Root rounded the corner, and he was definitely not laughing or singing along. Not that Root was much of a sing-a-long guy to begin with.

"Foaly! What the _hell_ was that!"

The centaur immediately assumed his expression of underappreciated genius, shaking his head sorrowfully. "_Someone's_-" he glared at the techies, whose grins had been fading ever since the commander entered the room and now slid off their faces altogether "-idea of a practical joke, I'm afraid. Apologies for the inconvenience."

The commander glared daggers at the fairies outside the Ops booth, who were all slinking towards the door. Reaching around Foaly, he tapped the control panel and watched the metal blast door slam down, then returned his gaze to the technical consultant. "Foaly, remind me why, exactly, Mud Men haven't hacked into your system," he sighed, seating himself in Foaly's chair without invitation and folding his arms over his decorated chest.

_Duh,_ the centaur thought, but he answered aloud, "Because my system is quite possibly the best in the world, and Mud Men have no hope of even uncovering it. Well," he amended, "perhaps they do have a hope, but I think it's safe to say it'll take them a few centuries. In any case, they couldn't get into it, not with the technology they have today."

"Correct," Root said with a nod. "So, tell me, why is it exactly that your system, being as advanced as it is, still gets bugs like that from your employees?"

Wary of the commander's sudden agreeable mood, Foaly replied cautiously, "Well, they have access to the system, of course, and they only play harmless jokes in general. I don't really mind. The bugs are easy to get out of the system, it's nothing fatal."

Julius's smile, strangely reminiscent of a vampire's for a half-second, twitched briefly on his face for a moment before he resumed his usual expression. Foaly instantly knew he was about to become very upset at the least, and with a cut budget at the most. Both of which he was not looking forward to. Arranging his features into a somewhat neutral stare, the centaur waited for the blow to fall. "Say I was a hacker, pony-boy," Root said with another smile. (Two in an hour-that was unusual for him) "Say I wanted to make the LEP systems fail completely so I could take over Haven. From what you're telling me, it sounds like all I have to do is get a job on your staff, right? And then I can fool around with your precious computers all I want, and achieve what I'm getting at. And then life as we know it ends, all because of a mistake on your part. What do you think I'd do about that then, Foaly? Assuming I survived the described chaos?"

"Um..." Foaly was aware anything he said now could prove dangerous for him. "You'd tell me to reboot the system and write a new blocker."

The LEPrecon commander propped his feet up on the computer bank, a smug expression on his face. Foaly went pale at the sight of his thick-soled boots so close to the fragile equiptment, but said nothing as the commander proceeded with his dialogue. "Yeah, I'd do that, but first we'd have a little chat concerning your pay, and then perhaps I'd promote one of your techies into your job, if I felt really annoyed-they know the system so well, after all. Mistakes like that, you see, can cost us. Understand?"

The centaur nodded. "Yes."

"So no more music on the conference speakers? Which, by the way, disrupted the daily schedule? Could have cost us lives?"

"No, sir."

"And no more loose security?"

"No, sir."

"Good," Commander Root grunted, swinging his combat boots off the panels and getting to his feet. "But don't think you've gotten away with this. I think maybe we're paying you a bit too much for you to be going off making mistakes like that. Remind me to slash your budget when I get back to my office. Which reminds me-I didn't just come here to have this wonderful chat: I have a message for you."

Grumbling under his breath, Foaly turned back at the last phrase, half-inquiring, half-annoyed. "Oh?"

Root nodded. "Oh yes. You're supposed to report to the costume room immediately for fittings. Seeing as the last attempt to issue them was a complete disaster-"

"Wasn't it helped a bit by someone?" Foaly added slyly.

Julius ignored this comment, luckily for the centaur. "-we're getting costumes individually, and it's your turn."

Foaly's look of wicked humor promptly turned to horror, and he unconsciously took a step back. "You couldn't. You can't make me."

A moment later, Root's face was inches from his own, and he didn't look very happy. "Look, donkey-boy," the commander roared, "last time I checked, I outranked you! So shut up and do as you're told, or you'll find yourself out of a job!"

Foaly pouted. "Yes, _sir_." He could still be sarcastic, though-Root couldn't sack him. He was too useful.

The commander frowned at his tone, but had too much of a headache to argue further. "Besides, it wasn't my decision," he said quietly. "We would _not_ be going through with this if it was up to me. But it's not. So get used to it. You're due in the costume room in five minutes."

Foaly wisely let him leave without comment, then, after a moment spent grinding his teeth and muttering curses, he exited the Ops Booth to see the commander berating one of the techies who he apparently had found guilty. The poor sprite was wilting under Root's temper, but Foaly ignored them both and moved on, trotting through the hallways to where he knew Stellar Party Costumes Inc. had made their lair. He pushed open the door to meet a lovely pixie who smiled charmingly at him. "Welcome, Mr. Foaly!" she squealed, hopping off her chair near the makeshift reception and flicking through papers on her clipboard until she found what she was looking for.

"We have your measurement here," she explained, "and we've already gotten your costume all set! It's the only one for centaurs we have at the moment, but I'm sure you'll love it."

"Um...thank you," Foaly stammered, unprepared for this rush of information. He braced himself as, at a snap from the pixie, several attendants rushed out with his new costume and handed it to her.

The technical consultant stared. From what he could see of it, it was something long. And furry. And involving a saddle. As the pixies slowly unrolled it-for effect, he supposed-he realized with dawning horror what, exactly, it was. He took a step back, shaking his head slowly. The head pixie noticed his expression and gave a concerned smile. "Is anything wrong, Mr. Foaly?"

"Is...uh...I mean...are you serious?" the centaur asked weakly.

The female pixie raised a waxed eyebrow. "Serious? Of course, Mr. Foaly. Could you please step aside here and try it on for us?"

Still muttering ineligible excuses under his breath, Foaly clopped behind the proffered screen, not able to believe he was about to begin the transformation into a race horse. You had to be kidding.

_

* * *

And so Foaly's taken care of! Haha, giddyap!_

_MANY APOLOGIES for the late update, once again, a day after Halloween. ((sighs)) Please do forgive, all. I've been so busy, but I must say I've been lazy, and I should be avoiding such things. I can promise that Chapter Four will be sooner than this one, seeing as I've already started it and it's doing well. Please be patient, and my wonderful reviewers, keep doing your stuff! You're wonderful, the lot of you!_

_**Trouble Kelp: **Heheh, sorry, "Trubs"...well, Holly may be coming up next chapter, it will be rather good, I promise. Many thanks for staying with me and reviewing, you're wonderful. _

**_xMetallicBooger:_**_Very touching! Thank you, I'm so glad you liked my update-let me know if Chapter 3 was as good as you seem to think my work is. ((pokes you tentatively)) Thanks so much for reviewing! _

_**xXxTroubleKelpxXx: **Oh, I'm not _that_ cruel to dear Julius. A bride? Good Lord...he'd kill me, so I'd rather not, but fear not-I've figured out what his costume is going to be, and he might wish he was a bride by the time that particular chapter is over and done with._

_**Scottish Ninja:** I'm honored by your attention, truly. Thanks once again for taking the time to review, and I'll take your offer. ((snatches cookie from hand)) _

_**The Thirteenth Councilor: **OMG! A giant chicken! What, were you into the Halloween candy early? Actually, you're on the right track for one of the worst/best costumes I'm planning. (Depending on how you look at it). Will take your suggestions into serious consideration, thanks for your time and patience with me._

_**scifi chick:** Hmm, we all seem to have scary ideas for Holly dear...I'll think on it, alright?_

_**- - - - - - -: **I'm so glad you liked my story! Please continue to review, I'd appreciate it. Hope you liked the new chapter._

_**Jakarutia:** Hey there, what happened to your updates? You've left me hanging...  
And yes, it's gonna be worse than a pink bunny. Worse. He's going to hate it, I promise. So touched by your comments...! Thanks so much!_

_**Tie Kerl: **Aaah, I ruled out the ruffles, sorry, but it's worse...it's **fluffy**...but thanks anyway for the idea, I loved it. Perhaps I'll do an alternate chapter. Thanks for reviewing again!_

_**athleticsrulz:** No, say no more, a few short words made my day and my smile. Thanks a lot for reviewing!_

_**wackywildcrazy:** Heheh, well, he's usually that way, isn't he, so I just wanted to describe him in more detail. All the officers seem to enjoy him yelling at someone else for a change. Don't worry, they won't be disappointed for the next few chapters! ;)_

_So then...ready for Chapter 4 after you've all given me your lovely reviews? It's actually almost done. Thanks for all your patience, everyone-I appreciate it. Hope you found Chapter 3 amusing. Oh, I almost forgot-_

_In the one time I use disclaimers, let me say that I do not own the song played at the beginning of the chapter. It's "Fight for Your Right (To Party)" by the Beastie Boys. Rather good song too. All credit goes to them for the song, all AF related stuff to the illustrious Eoin Colfer (duh, this is why I hate disclaimers)_

_So, until next time...cheers! Review!_


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